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29 April 2010
Let's start with a statement:
When writing dialogue, using only "said" will make your story dull. Instead, you should use a wide range of words to attribute dialogue. Murmured, lisped, breathed, shouted, screamed, beamed, quipped, shrugged, groaned... the list goes on and on.
As far as I know, there's currently two schools of thought on this subject. The one that says you should use as many different words for said as you can possibly think of, because you want to avoid repetition, and the one that tells you to always use said unless you really need to use a different word for it.
I adhere to the latter, and will explain why.
Said is unobtrusive. In fact, it's so inconspicuous your readers will hardly even notice it, whereas when you use words like "breathed, whispered, moaned, groaned, exhaled, snorted, etc." your reader cannot help but noticing them. These are words that draw attention to themselves. Your reader will get bored with them, and probably sooner rather than later.
How many times can you read a piece of text that has those crutches (because that's what they are) without wanting to either yell out in frustration or laugh your head off, because it sounds so silly. I don't breathe words, I speak them. I breathe air.
Of course, I'm not telling you to use said all the time. It's best to try and avoid using any attribution at all in dialogue. Insert some action instead.
"Don't do that. It hurts." She pulled her arm away and shot her brother an angry look.
"That's why I do it, you little wimp." The evil grin on Jason's face told Amy she was in for a bad time again
(I agree, this is not my best writing, but it should get my point across.)
Just for comparison, I'll give you the same sentences with attribution.
"Don't do that. It hurts," Amy whimpered. She pulled her arm away and shot her brother an angry look.
"That's why I do it, you little wimp," Jason snorted. The evil grin on his face told the little girl she was in for a bad time again.
Which do you prefer?
Leah is a freelance writer, who has written several short stories, articles and ebooks in both Dutch and English.
2 comments:
This is something I struggled with only yesterday on my own blog! (Are you reading my mind?) I have fallen into the trap many times previously of using unnecessary words. When action could be better used. I prefer the piece without attribution. It explains their actions much clearer without flowery wording and inserting action instead makes the dialogue flow much better Thanks for the tip- very helpful :)
Wow, thanks Ash. I'm glad I seem to have posted this writing tip at just the right time for you.
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